Here I am again, weeks since my last post. I'm tired, have a stack of laundry, soccer stuff to take care of, a stack of pictures to put in albums, and the list goes on, but I am making the time to blog! I had to get this one down, just what I am thinking today just has to be in my record of my crazy journey as a mom of three. Today it's all to real just how fast time goes, just how much I take for granted, and no matter how much I try to tell myself that I won't miss these crazy days filled with chaos, I WILL. There are days that I tell myself I just want a couple of hours to myself, a couple hours to do something with no interruptions, a couple hours to do nothing, to do some photography, to work, just something other than listen to screaming, fighting, and all that other crazy business that fill my days. Well be careful what you wish for, the time is nearly here when I get them couple hours EVERYDAY! I should be ecstatic, right? I'm not, not at all. It saddens me that the time has come for my little babies to go to school, to go out and get their start out in the world without their mommy by their side. Maybe it's the stay-at-home mom in me, maybe it's the guilt of missing that one on one time that you just can't get when you have twins, but I feel like I am just no where near ready for this step. There is just so much more I want to do, so many more days of fun to be had. There are days I just want a moment to myself, but there a so many days I feel I am blessed to have the opportunity to be at home with them, no job in the way of that sunny day, that day at the park, or that day of just lounging around building train tracks and reading books. I know there are days wasted where I have heard one to many tantrums and don't have the energy to chase them around getting ready, to get them loaded up in the Suburban to take them somewhere so we waste that day being grumpy sitting at home. I guess it is those days I am focusing on, those days I let that fun be missed, I let the negative things fill my mind and little fun was had by us all. I know it's only two hours a few days a week, but then it's all day, then it's middle school, sports, rushing here to this practice, and that event. Ugh it just gets so busy so fast, time flies, and before you know it, little things don't amuse them, chasing the butterflies in the sun doesn't entertain them or put a smile on there face, reading a book sitting on mom's lap just doesn't sound appealing, and a day with mom is like torture. Speaking from experience here, Ethan is nearly 13 and the last thing he wants is mom hanging with him, we have no down time, it's rushing to school, practices, and then a conversation with mom gets thrown on the back burner to chat with friends online or text NONSTOP! I know they are ready, they had so much fun playing with the other kids. When I walked them to the room and left them with their teacher while I went to sign them up, they didn't miss me, they didn't look for me or cling to me crying for me to stay. I guess I expected that, don't get me wrong that's a good thing I know, it's just me not being ready, it's me feeling guilty for letting so many moments slip away just taking for granted tomorrow will always be there. So here I am just thinking of how I am going to make this summer "count". I'm going to take this as a wake up call that we are going to let less moments slip but and take more time to have fun and enjoy being together. I'm going to take my boys more places, we are going to see more things, and have more fun, we are going to spend more time at the lake making memories and enjoying all those little things!!! Now come next August I'm going to miss them, I'm going to go through all these crazy feelings all over, God I can't imagine how I'll be when the time is really here, look at me now and it was one hour for sign up. Really I guess I need to just laugh at myself for being all crazy and scared of all the missed time in the past and seizing all the future moments, it's just preschool. It's just I know how fast time goes, and how fast that preschooler becomes a teenager in a blink of an eye, and I am just not ready for that, not ready for all my boys to grow up so fast knowing I can do more, I have to do more, to make these days memorable to them. Just one more reason I am a picture taking junkie, I just can't stand to see a moment slip by unrecorded. I want all my boys to remember fun and great times, to enjoy little things, to understand the importance of our family bond, to not take our time together for granted as we all do at times. So my household duties await me, I just I had to get this one down and out there.
So I am still not keeping caught up!! I have to make time for this story...
The day was rough, I am sick and have not slept in nights, the boys were not on their best behavior today to say the least. This evening came and a calm just came over the house, a very very much needed calm!!! It was such a nice peaceful evening filled with playing with cars, snuggles, puzzle time, and there was no running from mom at bedtime potty time and teeth brushing, WOW THAT NEVER HAPPENS!! I told them beings they were so good at getting ready for bed we could read extra books (we read 8!!!) One of the books they picked was A Kiss Goodnight. I love this book I can remember reading this to Ethan so many years ago :( The boys were sitting so nicely on each side of me so attentive soaking in every bit of it, waiting to see just what Sam was waiting for, a goodnight kiss of course. After reading a few more books we sat on the couch continuing with this odd sort of calm and sweetness, and Dylan looks at me and whispers, "mom, I can't go to sleep." I looked at him thinking oh no maybe that nap this afternoon was a bad idea, and asked "why", scared of the reply I may get. He answered back with the cutest smile and eye flutter, "because I am waiting." Awe that just warmed my heart and soul, at that moment all the crazness and stress of the day just left my body and all was perfect in that moment! One mother of twins told me long ago, around 8 months of not sleeping more than two hours straight, God never gives us more than we can't handle. You know there is rarely a day that goes by that I don't think of this, and I think God perhaps gave me more credit that was due some days. Today was that sort of day, just wandering what on earth I have gotten myself into with these two wild ones. I have to think that sweet moments like these have been little reminders from God, he saw I was struggling today and sent this sign to me. A sort of keep your head up mama, they may not show their sweet side all the time, but it is in there. So here is hoping for a great tomorrow, and many many more moments like these.
A good snapshot stops a moment from running away ~ Eudora Welby
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May the new year bring smiles and laughter for all!
Pine Cone Painting
Dylan and Ashton
Buzz and Woody
Well when you have twins, you don't have to choose!
18 Month Celebration!
Our last "half' birthday bash.
Frosting on the puppy too
Dylan and Ashton
Celebrating 18 months!
Dylan's new dino
Both boys have found a new interest in dinosuars, but Dylan is especially into them. He sees them on TV and says Di....blabble.....saur ROAR, Ashton tries to say it too, it is adorable!
Time for winter decor!
Fall has been mellow and unusually warm, but I am ready to jump into winter!!! I bought my first new winter decor for the season (if I wasn't so lazy I would load the picture I have of it and post it) and it got me all in the mood for snowflakes and sledding!!! Now on my to do list is to put all my other winter stuff out this weekend and wait for the snow to fly. Last year I couldn't wait for it to snow, so the boys could see and play in it for the first time, I am more eager this year. They will be able to run and jump and be so darn cute playing in the white fluff. I am looking forward to a snowman build by my three boys standing in my yard. And this year we will go sledding for real, not just daddy pulling them around in the yard. We are talking packing the hot chocolate and finding some hillls to zoom down.
Why I love photography...
Because I love to capture lifes littlest precious moments. A picture is worth a 1000 words, but to me my photographs are priceless recordings of my memories to be past down to my boys!
So I have been trying to do a little photography here and there...okay more like every chance I get! I have been trying to remember my camera most everywhere I go, just in case I see "that great shot", well so far I have captured lightening, a dragonfly, flowers, sand, and so many other great shots in which I am proud of. Not sure why, but it just give me that great feeling of accomplishment, maybe because that is the one constant in my life, the love of photography and the dream of actually being a photographer. So it is merely a hobby but still I can dream right?? *shrug* Here are just a few of my lates favorites!!!
Goal: Make mama run her butt off chasing us out of things we ARE NOT supposed to be in to.
The twins have now began to push their limits and see just what they can get away with. They look and smile when you tell them no, they run around just looking for things to get in to.
I am so far behind...
I take so many photographs, then have no time to sort through them, edit, and post them. Here is my quick attempt to catch up. There are so many I would love to share but here are a few of my favorites.
Summer fun with puppy at grandma and grandpa's.
What a cutie.
First slushy. We went and had a fun family day at Pizza Machine, and got lots of treats!
First slushy. Pizza Machine fun day!
First haircut. He was NOT happy. Poor Dylan ended up with a bad haircut too.
First haircut. He was not enjoying this one bit!
I can't believe I timed it so perfect.
All my boys...
Another great moment caught by mama's camera.
Back at the beach...
Lots and lots of sand fun this weekend.
Goofy big brother.
A day at the rose garden...
I can't wait to go back when daddy is there to help me chase my babies so they don't grab a thorn.
Loven' the buppy (puppy)
Awesome big brother moment...
Ethan is such a good big brother.
My favorite place with my favorite boys...
They are always making me laugh.
Dylan and Ashton
Now this is just to cute. Gotta love the huggies shots.
Ready to take on the big slide.
All My Handsome Boys...
My whole world here in one photograph.
Every time we are out he has to have a hold of Kong's leash.
The first time the twins were at the lake and could actually play!!! They were just itty bitty babies last time we took them.
No matter if it is dirt or sand...Mr. Dylan is trying to eat it. What a silly boy.
Oh Mr. Ashton Cole always has some silly lil' face to make.
All three boys...
Climbing and copying big brother!
Daddy walking his babies...
Toys are ignored, there is dirt to be dug in!
Take the time...
I notice the beauty around me where ever I am, and I hope my boys do as well. Even in the ugliest surroundings there is something to be found worth taking a second look, or snaping a picture of. Just what I need to do...take more pictures. I have so many pictures that I can't even begin to remeber taking half of them, here it is the 19th of May, and I am on 718 pictures in my May folder. Crazy I know, but I just can't help myself, I love taking pictures of the boys, and I have started to take pictures of simple things around me. As soon as I get all my pictures sorted I am going to start to get a little deeper in editing photographs so I figure the more photos to play with the better *laugh*. No really I want a variety to choose from, and I have no idea as of yet what I want to do so will all the photos I am taking I should be able to get some inspiration. And wether my boys take a picture or just take the time to take a second look and put some thought into their surroundings makes no matter to me, as long as they take the time to do it. I want them to grow and appriciate the little things that surround them, and see the beauty in simple things.
Took the time to stop and smell the roses, and pick one. He reached right out and grabed it and the petals fell apart in his fingers. He just studied the one petal that didn't fall to the ground with such attention.
Without even seeing his face, he is still a excellent little model. I can imagine his little face and how he looked at everything with such wonder in this new place, surrounded but nothing but nature.
I Have It All...
This morning I got up early and got all my boys ready to head off to soccer, twins go to grandma's and then Ethan and I are on our way. It gives us about a hour or more in the car just him and I, and a great time to catch up on the week or just chit chat. We talk about many things from soccer, school, to his friends. Today we talked about when he gets older and things he will do that will drive me crazy with worry; oh man I dred the day he gets to drive, or heads off on a date or to a party. We just talked about the usual, say no to drugs, never drink and drive, and ALWAYS call home for help if you need it. I know he is only 10, well almost 11, but still time flies and I can't imagine my little boy, a teenager who thinks he is invisable to all danger out in this world that is full of craziness. I see just how fast time goes, and I just try to stress to him to talk to me, and come to me for help without being scared of getting into trouble or being embarrised, I am so hopeful he gets how much I love him and that I will always be there, and daddy too!! I am so proud of him, he is a great boy, so polite and respectful, and he is always telling me "mom, you are the best mom in the entire world". Awww melts my heart, he tells me this almost every single day (and today on our way to soccer), and I am so glad he feels this way, and at times I feel like I don't deserve those great comments. There are times I am grumpy, stressed, and have a hundred things to get done at once, and am short with him and I push him so hard to get excellent grades and put his all into everything he does. I just love him so much and want his future to be bright, and I want him to have endless opportunities to be whatever he wants. Awww if kids only understood how trivial the friends that they have now are, and how in the big picture it is about good grades and going to college...then life starts! I think I am doing a good job and I think he does get it, I hope it just sticks with him in his teen years when he needs it the most. We are down to one more soccer game, and I am going to miss our road trips to the practices and games together, we will have to find a new reason to hang out just him and me. I am so lucky to have my three wonderful sons, and the best husband to go along with it. I really do have it all!!!
Happy Birthday Boys...
Today was the day, the big 1st Birthday. I ordered this banner months ago, I thought it was so neat. Well here it is hanging in the dining room behind the boys because I forgot to hang it at the party and wanted to see it hung somewhere. So I had daddy hang in and they have sat and ate in front of it for the last 2 days!!!
10 More Days...
Only 10 more days until the big day... the twins turn 1. Wow is that hard to believe, crazy how time flies when you are sleep deprived and running you butt off after 2 lil' monsters, and keeping Ethan going in all his stuff as well. The big day falls on a Tuesday, oh bummer dad has to work that day, so we are doing the party on the Saturday before. I have been planning the party for nearly 6 months now, oh and I am still not done. I wanted to do something big and fun, for the entire family. I think it is sad that families don't get together enough so why not use this day to celebrate the big day as well as get everybody together to catch up and have a day of fun. I am hoping after all the work and planning I have done that the day is fun for everbody especially my boys... all three of them!!! We have came so far this last year and now it is time to say bye-bye babies....hello toddlers. YIKES the terrible 2s times 2! ugh what a ride this will be. :)
As a mom of 3 boys...
For 9 years it was just Ethan and everything was so simple, we could pick up and go camping, fishing, or to Ethan's practices and games with such ease. No I get all frazzled just thinking of how I am going to accomplish getting Ethan to practices, games, and coach his soccer team all while taking care of the twins as well!!! As it so happens most of these events happen while daddy is at work so here I am just me, myself, and I to get it all figured out. It has been such a change for Ethan having 2 little brothers, I am trying my hardest to keep things "normal", and trying to not have him miss out on things just becuase it is more difficult for me to take him places and to events. So I sit here and think wow I am crazy busy now, what happens in 4 years when the twins start baseball, soccer, football.....ugh no this could get even crazier before it gets easier. I am so lucky to be able to be home all day with the boys and not miss a thing, or not to miss any of Ethan's things but contrary to somes beliefs I do not sit and watch soaps all day it is a full time job, I just don't get breaks, or vacation time, but I guess you could say the pay is GREAT if you consider hugs, kisses, and lots of love pay *smile* So when I am out at the store or somewhere I get stopped lots, and they say all sorts of things, ask many questions, and make some funny comments about the twins, and I have heard so many times from people that have no clue who I even am... man you have your hands full, and I must say with 3 boys, YES I DO, and I LOVE it!!!
Soccer has officially started!!! This is Ethan's 7th year playing soccer, and he is my lil' soccer star. Dad got him started and I was a bit reluctant all that rain and cold weather in the spring *YUK*. But now I am hooked, and am even coaching his team. I was so bummed I didn't think I was going to be able to help this year, I had nowhere for the twins to go. But they signed me up to help without calling and checking with me so I had to make it work. I am glad it is a great way for me and Ethan to have some time alone without little brothers and do something fun just him and I, he needs that and so do I. Last year I was worried I wasn't going to be able to help either but I did, I am sure I was one hell of a site being preggers with the twins and all *laugh* but I made it and only missed the last week because I was in the hospital, or I would have been there!!! So I am looking forward to our season and will be positng some AWSOME soccer pictures soon.
The twins loved the swings, they would giggle at each other as they saw each other swing past them.
Twins are learning to climb, and show it off at park with daddy.
We have teeth!!!
2 bottom teeth each for the twins, and they are starting to use them and feed themselves some yummy real food.
recently discovered books and really likes them ALOT!
At the zoo...
Dylan (brown) Ashton (gray). Mommy got a new camara that takes sweet close ups. Thanks daddy!!!
Ethan's new drum...
He is Ethan playing his new drum. He is really good, we thought we would stick to just the snare for now. If he sticks with it a entire drum set is on his birthday list. shhhh don't tell!!!
You stack em' up I will knock em' down.
Oh how fun
Big brother sharing his old Thomas track.
Let me get that for ya...
Dylan picking on Ashton in the tub. It is always one of them after the other.
Kong wanders around the boys all day and there are times he gets captured *laugh*. Dylan got him good here, good boy Kong just sit there and take it.
Look what we found...
We went to Grandma and Grandpa Bells for Thanksgiving and after some digging we found some of Ethan's old toys. These blocks were among them and the twins LOVE them.
Since learning to sit this is where we spend most of our day sitting on the floor playing with toys. And at times Mr. Dylan makes a go for the Christmas tree; he always goes for the same big snowflake.
Let me get a closer look at ya...
Ashton chasing his rubber ducky around the bath. He finally caught him and no way he was giving him up.
Dylan just relaxing in the tub with his ducky.
Ashton going after Dylan.
Well Ashton is a bit more mobile so now he is getting Dylan back for stealing all his toys for the last few months.
Ashton and his first Christmas ornament
Dylan and his first Christmas ornament
All my boys
All 3 of my boys!!!
Little Ashton being a goof as usual, Dylan blinded by the flash as usual, and Ethan holding them wishing mom would stop taking pictures.
Not such a happy camper!!!
I Love my Tiger
Look at that smile
And this is how it ends.....
Ashton has it crashed down on top of him, and Dylan has flipped around!!
This is how the twins start out in their Merry Monkey Gyms...
Dylan & Ashton in their Birthday Boy hats
Dylan blinded by the flash, and Ashton with his big ole grin!!!
Dylan & Ashton
Get this off!!!
Dylan is keeping a close eye on his tigers!
"We mean business"
Wow such serious looks.
Where's the babies?????
All camoed out and no where to go!
I'm rocking on my big brothers drums!!!
Counting down the days.....
Only 5 more days until the twins are 6 months old. I can't believe it time has went so fast for us. But I must say it has been a rough 6 months for this family. It was a big adjustment for us all, but we are managing. Ethan having to adjust to not being the only child, and not getting to do as much with mom and dad because we are often busy with babies. Poor Ethan, he has been really good about it though. He loves his little brothers but is looking forward to them getting a bit older so he can play with them more. And mom and dad...... well we have had to adjust back to baby mode, and doing it with little to no sleep most of the times. I am hoping that the last 6 months of their first year is a bit easier, and I HOPE THEY START TO SLEEP at some point this year!!!
Rolly Polly Olies
Dylan and Ashton have been scooting all over the floor lately, and Ashton has even got up in the crawling positions a few times. But yesturday Ashton rolled over!!! He was moving all about on the floor chasing toys and over he went. I think that he suprised himself because he was not happy about it at all. Then today Dylan rolled over. Dylan was happier about it and stayed on his tummy and played. The twins have also been try to sit up. They can sit but still need just a little help, but it won't be long and they will be sitting on their own. Dylan tries to sit from the laying postion it is just so funny, he tries SO hard. It is so hard to believe that they are days away from being 6 months old, they are getting so big so fast. Ethan is doing great on the drums he is really seeming to like it. He has decided he want to play the snare drum. Today he was practicing and Kong hates it, he tried to bite the drum sticks. He is a dorky dog! Dylan liked it he even got a hold of a drumstick and drummed a bit too, Ashton was sleeping and missed out on drum practice for the night. Guess we will be buying drums for all for Christmas!!!
Ashton and his first Snickers. He sucked the choclate off!!
Dylan's first Milky Way. He smashed that thing and slurpped it up!!!!
I am speachless on this one. *laugh*
Yeah I am rocking this wig!!!
What in the......????
No I am not being a clown!
What to be for Halloween?!?!?!?
Dylan eating a cracker.
Dylan & Ashton
Dylan is more serious and is a toy hog. Ashton gives up all the toys, but he is a sassy and goofy little thing. Ashton also rarely is quiet he jabbers and squaks, while Dylan just sits and looks at him like "what you talking about silly," Funny how different they both can be.
Dylan always takes all the toys from poor little Ashon Cole.
All my boys
Ashton, Dylan, & mom
Ashton(front) and Dylan with their pumpkins.
On the trail at the pumpkin patch.
Ethan and mom in the treehouse at the pumpkin patch.
Nobody told mom that there was a slide at the end to get down. Nice.
Ethan going down the slide at the pumpkin patch.
Dylan & Ashton
All my boys
Can't belive it has been almost 6 months.
Holy cow Asthon got up and I thought he was going to crawl today!! Bring out the baby leashes and gates!!! Won't be long and I will be needing two of these. *laugh*
Ashton & Dylan with mama
How very precious
Look at those beautiful blue eyes!
Dylan & Ashton
Twin totem pole
Ethan my little drummer boy
New today is that Ethan has decided to start playing the drums in band. This will start next week, oh no EARPLUGS. *laugh* He is really excited and can't wait until band class next Friday.